A Random Twilight Story
by Emmy.Black.Hale.Cullen
Summary: I was IMing my friend and we came up with this random story!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is a random story that me and my friend made up. **Bold** is me typing and _italics_ is my friend.

**one quiet day...** _i saw a strange man..._** i walked closer and it was Edward!  
**_i spazed out _**and realized that i had turned into Bella!  
**_then i realized i had to take a dump_ **and ran to the closest bathroom **_i was really embrassed_ **so i walked over to Edward and said.  
**_please dont hate me_ **and he said 'i could never hate you'  
**_and i said well that makes one_ _of us_ **and he got mad.  
**_and bit me_ **and i suffered the terrible pain of becomine a vamp like him!  
**_then i had a reaction_ **and had a seziure!**  
_then i realized i was allergic to Edward_ **and he sneezed and said he was allergic to bullshit.  
**_i laughed then said_ **hahaha, im sry Edward, but i love Jacob!  
**_Edward started choking on his tounge_ **and he died for the second time (even though he cant die)  
**_then Jacob appered with his bike and took Bella_ **and they went cliff diving while Edward watched them, disgusted** _then Jacob died by landing on his face_ **and Bella started crying** _Then Edward threw Jacobs' splatted brain in a vase_ **and Eddie tried to comfort a frazzled Bella **_then Eddie asked Bella to marry him_ **and Bella says 'uhm, now isnt a good time to ask me! my best friend just died!'  
**_then Edward says sorry then gives her a hug_** and Bella needs to hunt cuz she's a vampire now.  
**_but first they need to make up alibis in case the police asked them_ **then Edward takes Bella and runs to their meadow **_and Edward sees a lion_ **and he runs up and kills the lion** _for Bella_ **and then Edward reallizes that he doesnt like the taste of lion.**  
_and stares into Bella's eyes_ **and they kiss passionately.**  
_then Bella pushes him away_ **and runs and jumps into the nearby river.  
**_then at that moment Bella remembers that she does not know how to swim _**and almost drowns, but she doesnt cuz she's a vampire now.  
**_then Edward jumps in after Bella_ **and pulls her limp body out of the roaring river.  
**_and then starts crying_ **except he cant cry, so he just sobs...** _and Bella returns to life then Edward or the second time bends down on one knee _**and ties his shoe** _Bella laughs_ **and Edward looks up at her, confused.  
**_then Bella does somthing that we never thought she could do_ **she ran away**_ then Bella remembers Edward can out run her by miles_ **and decides to climb a tree instead** _then she saw a bee hive_ **and poked it**_ then out went thousands of angry bees_ **they tried to sting her granite skin, but stung each other instead.  
**_then Bella fell_ **and Edward was there to catch her** _then a bee stung Eddie and Eddie dropped Bella_ **and he accidentally dropped her off a cliff.  
**_then Bella went rolling till a tree stopped her_ **and an angry grizzly bear came along.  
**_then the bear tried to rip her into pieces but after awhile the bear got confused because she was not dying_ **and Emmett suddenly came along and attacked the grizzly (his fave)**  
_then Bella fell in love with Emmett_ **and Rosalie came along and saw Bella kissing her husband.  
**_then Rosalie got into a fight with Bella_ **and then a computer nerd named Paul showed up he wanted to be in this story and Emmett killed him** _and then Bella picked her nose_ **and Edward was suddenly there.  
**_Bella flicked the booger at him_ **and he was grossed out**_but since he hadnt eaten yet he ate the booger_ **and Bella passed out from embarassment** _them Eddie suddenly realized he loved her booger _**and attacked her face!  
then THEY ALL DIED!! The End.**

That was so random, I warned you. Haha, Paul is an actual person too. He's a computer nerd and my friend. So, since you read all that, please review! You can review anonomously if you want to!


	2. More Randomness

Hey! I'm surprised that people actually read this and reviewed! So, thanks to **sunshine-in-the-rain** and **once.bitten.and.twice.shy.14** for reviewing!! So, once again, **bold** is me typing, and _italics_ is my friend.

_the other day,_ **i met a guy named Emmett Cullen** _and Emmett went to the store_ **and had a stalker right behind him the whole time** _then just as Emmett entered the soap isle the stalker pulled out his gun _**and shot it**_ then before the stalker even triggerd the gun Emmett was out of sight_ **and he was already back home before the stalker had time to think** _but it was to late the bullet hit the manager of the store_ **and he didnt die cuz Dr. Carlisle Cullen was there to save him.**  
_then the stalker was put in jail for 5 years_ **and he happened to be a superhero like Hancock!  
**_then saved a dog_ **and then was thrown back in the slammer** _and then he ate a mouse_ **and then Emmett bailed him out** _then the stalker apoligized for tying to kill him_ **and they became bestest friends **_then Emmett told him his sercet_ **and the stalker said that he was a vamp too!  
**_then they hugged_ **and the stalker turned out to be Jazzy!  
**_then they hated each other_ **and Jasper had to control Emmy's emotions so he wouldn't die** _then a black cat crossed thier path_ **and Jazzy made Emmett feel all warm and fuzzy about killing him** _yes, and they bite the cat_ **and the cat runs away** _but Emmett out runs the cat_ **and finds a dog to chase the cat for him** _then Emmett passes out_ and **Rose finds him like that** _and takes him to the ER_ **and they figure he's dead cuz he's so cold and doesnt have a pulse** _then Rose started crying_ **then Emmett wakes up and goes to kill Jasper** _but Jasper laughs_ **cuz he can't die** _but that just gets Emmett mad_ **so he runs to Europe** _there he decides to chill with a cup of tea_ **and a crumpet**_ then after he drank 4 glasses of tea and ate 6 crumpets we had to use the lou_ **and afterward, he feels like a great load has been lifted** _then Emmett went back to his expensive suite and saw Jasper_ **and Jazzy was making out with some French girl** _and then Emmett saw that she had a twin_ **and convinced Jasper to go on a double date with him** _Jasper agreed_ **then Bella and Alice showed up** _with two monkeys_ **and Edward** _then they joined them for dinner_ **Carlisle and Esme were there** _and they all sat down to enjoy a meal_ **of High School Musical stars** _and they were very yummy_ **then all 8 of them ran back to Forks. The End.**


End file.
